I'm sitting here, finally back in the good 'ol state of IN (I'll get to story time later) and I couldn't help but chuckle.

I had some reading to do upon my return, and cruised to Dr. K's blog, and was reading about his Triathletic views. I too find triathletes to be a funny bunch. There is only one that I can think of that isn't a total wackjob. Anyhow, to the point. I was perusing SlowTwitch (a dirty dirty sin no doubt) and I was laughing at this photo's caption:



What the eff? You think a Tour de France pro would be caught dead doing a 4.25 hour Time Trial? Alone? You have some learning to do about bike racers. Besides, Greg Christian could probably do that with one leg, and he's just a lowly amateur Cat 1.

Then I had an about face as I flipped through the images:



Let's face it, any man who trades his child for beer has got to be one BAMF. I bet that dude crushes dreams like no other.

Seriously, anyone who can neglect their child for 30 hours a week of training, and then trade him for beer has got to be one HC kind of guy. Hopefully he won enough to pay for his son's psychiatric treatment till the age of 30.

That photo has permanently changed my view of triathletes. They aren't self absorbed wankers, they are Dream Crushing BAMF's.

Ah yes... So what is going on with John Meyers?

He never updates his blog, hasn't been seen at the bike races, and is whispered to have gone insane--apparently he only talks in third person now. Perhaps he has gone the way of Tommy "Blow" Boonen, or worse... Marco "Elefantino" Pantani. He's probably laying dead at the Muscatine Motel 6 after snorting one-too-many-lines off a wrinkly hookers bosom. Poor John "Pinnochio" Meyers, that big shnoz of his was inevitably his undoing... so sad. Tragic really.

...


Alas, if only my recent life could be storied with escapades of bosoms and blow. Let's face the truth. No one has a bike racing blog where they get excited about posting about how slow they've been riding, how little they've been racing, and how many bones they've broken recently. That's fscking depressing.

To sum things up where I left off: I raced Joe Martin. Got a 6th and a 10th in the 1/2's road races (which were more like Cat 3 races because any real firepower raced with P/1's). Then, a few days after feeling and riding like trash at the Memorial Day Races, I broke my collarbone on a group training "race". A week later, I went ahead with the surgery, a la Mr. Armstrong. The cool pictures:

Exhibit A: Broken Stuff


Exhibit B: Titanium Stuff


I've been relatively lucky to not have broken any bones prior to this, and frankly, I think the experience was a good one for someone who has interest in becoming an orthopedic surgeon. However, life is all about timing. I broke my collarbone two days before my final day at work--I had put in my two weeks so I could...race my bike all summer long.

Too bad, so sad.

The good news is that I've been able to ride (Indoors in 5 days, outdoors in 10 after surgery), and despite what my doctor told me to do, I even raced this weekend...at a time trial. Don't look for results, I went slow. That's all that needs to be said.

Anyhow, in about 3 weeks I should be able to take part in a mass start race, and life will be grand.

That's all for now.

Tour of St. Louis:
I'll tell ya, I really like these little races that make you feel like "the real deal". Tour of St. Louis had a Crit, Time trial, and Circuit race. The TT (and corresponding omnium prizes) really makes the weekend a bit more fun and helps to add another element to the racing. The weekend went something like this:

Crit:
This was an oddly tactical race. We were never really going that hard, but groups started to go up the road, have a decent gap, and stay out there. Most races it seems that everyone has to have half a lung spasming on their top tube before the break finally goes. Not here; Jeff went up the road with 5 others in a strange, not-that-fast move. Soon after, I bridged to a not-that-fast chase group and sat on. I kept getting yelled at for not working, but hey: I have faith in Jeff being able to win out of the move up the road. Dragging up 6 more dudes doesn't help our situation.

Due to the general slowness of the field, Jeff's move lapped the field. My chase group got tired of me sitting on, and went slower and slower until the field caught us. Groupo compacto. Now it is time to make sure Jeff can win.

Sidenote: It's also really freaking hot. At one point I turned around and saw only 20 dudes left. We started with twice that.

Anyhow, we make it to the last lap, and Mercy puts a couple dudes on the front to try and bring their up-a-lap man to the finish. It's Mercy, Mercy, Mercy, Me, Jeff, and everyone else. With 1/4 lap to go, I jump the Mercy train with Jeff in tow. Just enough room for Jeff in the gutter--the crosswind is strong. I drill it, take the corner hard, hear Jeff scream "Go outside" and as I'm packing up, Jeff flies around me with 150m to go for the Vee. Nice. I look back and the pack is splintered. I get back on the gas, and ended up in the top non-lapping spot in the field as well. A good start to the omnium.

TT:
A TT is usually just a TT. Go hard. Suffer. Feel ill. Hate life. The usual. This TT wasn't too different except for the ENORMOUS cross tailwind on the way out, and corresponding headwind on the way in. I spent some legit time in the 55 x 11, smashing it, just flying. Course was perfectly flat, smooth, awesome. Nice turnaround too. We had a cul-de-sac, not a knocked over cone.

I grabbed the vee there, and Jeff got 3rd. Good shape for the omnium. Oh, and I got $110 for winning the TT. That's probably the biggest pay-out for a Time Trial in the history of American bike racing.

Circuit Race:
Jeff once again proved that being able to read races is just as important as having the legs to win them. Jeff was in the hotseat, 1st in the omnium. I was in second. The plan was that I would not work any moves without Jeff. Each move I got in ended up dying--the unfortunate psychology of bike racing. It didn't matter though, Jeff bridged to two, I played shut 'er down, and he ended up with the vee, again. I got in a last lap move and took the "field sprint" for fourth. Not bad.

So, all said and done, ABD went 1-2 in the omnium, and won every event.

Sweet.

I'll be back next year.


Vernon Hills GP:
I also did a little race up in Chicago-land. It went something like this:

Follow a move, watch one committed fellow take a half decent pull. 2nd in line takes two pedal strokes, and then wildly flicks his elbow. Third in line, the same. Then everyone looks at the ABD rider (me, or my teammates) to drag the break around. To all the Chicagoans: We don't need to drag you around to get in moves. If you want to be in a break, don't expect a) someone else to do the work for you and b) it to not hurt. That’s how breakaways work: they hurt.

Anyhow, the plan for the day was for Ryan to win anyways, and since every time I so much as let out a toot, everyone wanted a whiff of it... Ryan ended up the road with Brian Dziewa. I followed the chase groups as they formed, but it seemed everyone expected me to chase down my own guy. Not going to happen.

After covering Scott Pearson's 3rd attack I decided that I wouldn't cover the next one. Ebert was on him like white on rice, and thus the remainder of the money spots were up the road.

Ryan smoked Dziewa and took the Vee. Ebert nabbed fourth, and I won the field sprint after watching some dudes get argy-bargy and try and kill Seth Meyer. Seth wisely took the straight line through the turn and watched Mr. argy-bargy eat shit. Seth has broken enough ribs this year, he need not break more.

Now off to Joe Martin. My fitness isn't where I'd like it to be, but that's OK. Joe Martin will serve as a springboard for the rest of the year: about to quit my job and play bike racer. One last hurrah before med school. I'm excited.

See y’all at dem bike races.

First person to figure out and show me how to fix that <ul> on the right so it is aligned slightly more to the left gets a cookie.

I fussed with it for 5 minutes, and have decided I am much too lazy.

Team training camp was pretty cool. Did a solid 5.5 hour ride with Mr. Ryan Freund. About to go out for a sloppy ride in the wet weather too.

Joe Martin is coming up. Time to start getting my plans all set. Exciting.

Hillsboro Roubaix '09:

First two laps were uneventful with very few moments of real excitement. Closest thing to excitement was when a break of 7 or 8 was up the road, and Texas Roadhouse put 5-6 guys on the front to bring it back.

Beginning of lap 3, I decided to take off for a short lived move with Chad Hartley and Will Nowak. When it came back I flatted. I waited, and waited, and waited. About 4-5 minutes passed before I got my wheel change, and I said screw it. The pack was gone, way gone.

As it turns out, (right as I flatted) Puffer meandered away from the field, and several bridged to form the winning move. That was all she wrote. Jeff Schroetlin made the break and pulled out a 4th. Jensen won.

At one point I thought my epoxy-repaired wheel was on the verge of imploding, but I realized that was not the case--it was just the road making a somewhat rhythmic thump-thump-thump-thump. When I flatted though, I pretty much ended any life left in that fixed up rim. Oh well. The front is still going strong.

That about covers it. Don't think I'm going to race in Indy today. Radar looks like a shit storm will hit right at showtime. Looks like I should have stayed in St. Louis. Damnit.